Useful Links

Coaches Training Institute – (www.thecoaches.com)

This is the organisation with whom I have learned to coach. It is a vibrant world-wide network and some of the people I have trained with, and been trained by, are among the most impressive people I have had the good fortune to interact with.
 

Mankind Project (www.mkp.org.uk)

I’ve belonged to two Men’s Groups; the first ran for 12+ years and I still meet up with two of my fellow men every couple of months, more than 15 years on. Now, I benefit from belonging to a men’s group which meets fortnightly; we’ve all done self-development work with MKP, and value the chance to share a supportive and authentic connection, which allows for the presence of the good, the (so called) bad and the ugly; all emotions and all feelings. 
 

Women in Power – (www.womeninpowerprogram.com)

A female equivalent, and I see the impact they’ve had on my partner and other women I’ve met who are involved – they rock! 
 

Shadow work – (www.goldenopportunities.org.uk)

This is the name given to the process of seeking to recognise and accept those aspects of ourselves that for whatever reason we keep in the shadows, perhaps out of fear, shame or anger, but which play a conscious, or more likely unconscious, and not always healthy part in our daily lives. There are many practitioners who approach this work from different perspectives; my valuable experience has been with John and Nicola Kurk.  
 

Boarding School Survivors – (www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk)

I went to boarding school at a young age, and scars from this experience lie deep. My journey from under their malign influence began with work I did with Nick Duffell and Boarding School Survivors. Recommend his books and ‘The Making of Them’ film too.
 

Poetry – (www.kimrosen.net)

I often share poems that have had an impact on me with friends and coaching clients. I have been influenced by the work of Kim Rosen, whose book, Saved by a Poem, is a wonderful introduction to the power of poetry – poetry learned, spoken, shared – to change lives. I was introduced to her work by my friend John Hillman www.johnhillman.org

 

Growing grown-ups

Each year I spend time with my family at Embercombe in Devon www.embercombe.org for a week called Grow the Grown Ups, led by Joanna Watters http://thisbeautifulwork.weebly.com/. The week is devoted to the idea that supporting adults on their parenting journey is a way of making a happier and more sustainable world, one family at a time. 

'It is important that awake people, be awake'

I first came across this poem, 'A Ritual to Read to each other', and its poet William Stafford, in 1990, when the American poet Robert Bly read it as part of an evening of poetry on a men’s retreat, and I felt I was hearing words that spoke to my soul’s purpose, words that set out some simple, challenging truths that could guide me if I chose to listen. I do believe that it is, as he says, important that 'awake people be awake'; it’s what I want for myself and for everyone I meet, coach, work and share life with.

A Ritual To Read To Each Other

If you don’t know the kind of person I am

and I don’t know the kind of person you are

a pattern that others made may prevail in the world

and following the wrong god home we may miss our star.

For there is many a small betrayal in the mind,

a shrug that lets the fragile sequence break

sending with shouts the horrible errors of childhood

storming out to play through the broken dyke.

And as elephants parade holding each elephant’s tail,

but if one wanders the circus won’t find the park,

I call it cruel and maybe the root of all cruelty

to know what occurs but not recognize the fact.

And so I appeal to a voice, to something shadowy,

a remote important region in all who talk:

though we could fool each other, we should consider–

lest the parade of our mutual life get lost in the dark.

For it is important that awake people be awake,

or a breaking line may discourage them back to sleep;

the signals we give–yes or no, or maybe–
should be clear:
the darkness around us is deep.
— William Stafford

There is a crack in everything

Leonard Cohen’s song Anthem speaks so simply of the need to accept our vulnerability, our shadow, our imperfect selves: ‘There is a crack, a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in’.

My musician brother & sister

I have two siblings, both of them musicians, both taking very different paths to express their musical gifts.

My sister Tarisha, is a singer-songwriter, whose songs I love. www.tarisha.co.uk  She also uses music to heal and rejuvenate, in her Singing Medicine workshops http://www.tarisha.co.uk/workshops.html

My brother Tom is a classical conductor. www.tomseligman.com He has also founded a charity called Five Senses Music, on whose Board I am proud to sit, dedicated to the sharing of live music with as wide an audience as possible; their first project in early 2016 was based on Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring www.riteupclose.com